Dorset Submariners

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In the beginning

In The Beginning

In the beginning there was the word; and the word was GOD.  All else was darkness and void without form.  So GOD created the heavens and the earth.  He created the sun, moon and the stars, so that light may pierce the darkness.  The earth was divided between land and sea and these were filled with many strange creatures.

The dark, salty slimy creatures that inhabited the seashore, he called Royal Marines and dressed them in slimey camouflage trousers, ”you can’t see me jackets” and green berets.  The flighty creatures of the air he clothed in uniforms, which were ruffled and fowl and named them WAFUs – and they were! These creatures were not popular, as their droppings fell on the earth below, but GOD forgave them because as he said, “They knoweth not what they do”.  The lower creatures of the sea, GOD called Skimmers and gave them splendid uniforms to wear, with wonderful and exotic places to visit.  He created pen and paper so they might write home every week, make a mends at sea and even gave them a laundry, that they might keep their splendid uniforms clean.

When you are GOD, you tend to get carried away!

On the seventh day, as you know, GOD rested and on the eighth day at o seven dubs, he looked down upon the earth and was not a happy GOD.  He thought about his labours and with his infinite wisdom, created a divine creature, and this creature he called a submariner.  These submariners, whom GOD created in his own image, were to be of the deep and he gave them white woolly jumpers to keep them warm.  He gave them black steel messengers of death to roam the depths of the seas, waging war against the forces of Satan and evil.  He gave them hotels to welcome them when they grew weary of doing GOD’s will.  He gave them subsistence, that they may entertain the ladies of the night ashore and impress the hell out of the creatures called Skimmers.

At the end of the eighth day, GOD looked down upon the earth and saw that all was well.  Still GOD was not happy, because in the course of his labours, he had forgotten one thing.  He had not given himself a white Submariners woolly jumper.  He thought long and hard and finally satisfied his mind.

Not just anybody can be a submariner!


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